Promotions can bring on feelings of imposter syndrome and foreboding joy — Getting promoted is a tricky proposition for me. On one hand, I am elated that my hard work is recognized and I am earning more money. On the other hand, shortly after my promotion I start developing imposter syndrome and wonder if I can handle the new assignments and responsibilities…

I struggled with confidence at work early in my career due to confusing ideas and an unsupportive home environment. — I started out my professional career very confused. I didn’t know what type of job I wanted to do or was good at, and allowed my father to dictate what were “acceptable” positions for me. I ended up taking jobs that were not a good fit for me and then…

I re-traumatized myself as a young adult by getting into one bad relationship after another and not understanding why — Trauma can include any experience where one feels overwhelmed with hopelessness or fear. “Inside traumas” are things people do that tend to re-traumatize themselves, according to Anna Runkle. Other terms for this are self-defeating behaviors or self-sabotage. These behaviors often start as an innocent flight away from pain but can…

I escaped into stories and developed magical thinking because my emotional needs were not met as an adolescent — Magical thinking is a coping mechanism that children engage in when they are confronted with extremely painful events such as childhood emotional neglect, according to Anna Runkle. Their minds check out and they are not really present. If they were, they would have to absorb the full impact of their…

I am renegotiating relationships with emotionally immature relatives who are older than me — There are certain older family members I have not seen in several years and I have been dreading seeing them again. Specifically, my relationship with one person has been on my mind. Let’s call them Sam. My relationship with Sam worked when I was a kid and teenager. However, the…

I am reintroducing myself to my family with the concept that I now have boundaries that must be respected — For the last ten years, I was living away from my family. I lived in a different state and even a different country! The further I got away from them, the more I was able to focus on developing myself outside of their influence. This includes several years of therapy…

I am working through unresolved regrets and letting go of the past in order to move on and build a healthier future. — Even though I am happy in my current relationship, I find that I have some unresolved regrets and baggage from past relationships that are still affecting me. Some of the issues are fear-based thinking, the need for compassion, and intergenerational trauma from my parents and are from past romantic relationships…

I operated under silent rules that I could not fully use my time off benefits while getting closer and closer to burnout. — I have never used all my sick leave and vacation days in a year on a job before. Yet, I have been extremely burned out, resorting to quitting my job and blaming it on the relentless pace of American corporate and hustle culture. There’s truth to the notion that we…

Being emotionally neglected by my parents led me to develop dysfunctional protective buffers and a fear of receiving in my relationships. — As I mentioned in previous articles, I was emotionally neglected in childhood and therefore constantly lonely. My parents’ drama was the center of my life, leaving no room for me to receive attention and support for my emotional life or discover who I was deep down. I was also taught…