After living abroad in Paris for four years, I decided it was time to return to Los Angeles — I lived abroad in Paris for almost four years. I arrived through a master’s degree program and transitioned to the French workforce, living the Parisian lifestyle for a few years before I decided to move back to the U.S. I found myself simultaneously near burnout and not adequately challenged in…

By realizing that I’m the emotionally unavailable one — I had a repetitive compulsion problem where I kept gravitating towards emotionally unavailable men. They were either not interested and I kept pursuing them despite their lack of interest, or they were interested but only in something casual. They would not be able or willing to commit to something more…

Being emotionally neglected by my parents led me to develop dysfunctional protective buffers and a fear of receiving in my relationships. — As I mentioned in previous articles, I was emotionally neglected in childhood and therefore constantly lonely. My parents’ drama was the center of my life, leaving no room for me to receive attention and support for my emotional life or discover who I was deep down. I was also taught…

Recovering from unhealthy family and relationship patterns is a long road with potential pitfalls. — It’s been a long journey figuring out why romantic relationships have been so difficult for me. I examined how my past informed these difficulties and what I can do to resolve these problems which had become a persistent and despairing issue in my life. I posted before about how I…

I am changing old patterns and opening up space in my life for a healthier way of living — The road to recovery from anxiety and childhood emotional neglect is not a walk in the park. Although I have made many strides, including fulfilling my long-time dream of becoming a dog mom and finding a healthy and secure relationship, I find I still have many old unhealthy beliefs and…

I’m used to feeling like the best on my team. It’s been a struggle trying to pull back and make room in my life for other things. — When I was in middle school, I saw this picture in a magazine and decided to clip it and save it. I didn’t know it back then, but I think the picture spoke to me about how I felt at that time: like everything was an impossible upward struggle. I…

I forgive my father for his emotional unavailability and reconnect with self-compassion and security — In his book “The Forgiving Self,” Robert Karen gives a great explanation for how secure attachment in children is developed. It comes from a healthy cycle of fight and repair between children and their parents. Children start out with the idea that their parents are perfect, then they begin to…

My difficulties asking for vacation and recovering from work mishaps are making me aware of how bad my perfectionism is — I am a perfectionist. I had an idea of this already. Yet I have been surprised at how many things in the workplace have bothered me in recent months. I started realizing I could have a perfectionism problem when I got upset when things don’t go as well as I…

Scenes of desperate Afghans fleeing the Taliban remind me of Vietnamese refugees fleeing the Vietcong in 1975 —